This morning, I had a reckoning moment with God. Even better, God had one with me. I was reading from 1 Samuel 25:12-27 as part of my reading plan and I actually thought it was simple and boring and that I would just get more out of my New Testament reading… I was wrong. I just got back from a wonderful vacation and with Easter and so many things coming down for us at once, I was overcome with an anxiety I was not comfortable with. I immediately went to prayer and I was reminded to pray for my best friend who is in a physical struggle that I can only understand at the surface. God prompted me to re-read 1 Samuel 25:12-27 and so I did just that.

When Abigail saw David, she hurried and got down from the donkey and fell before David on her face and bowed to the ground. 24 She fell at his feet and said, “On me alone, my lord, be the guilt. Please let your servant speak in your ears, and hear the words of your servant. 25 Let not my lord regard this worthless fellow, Nabal, for as his name is, so is he. Nabal[c] is his name, and folly is with him. But I your servant did not see the young men of my lord, whom you sent. 26 Now then, my lord, as the Lord lives, and as your soul lives, because the Lord has restrained you from bloodguilt and from saving with your own hand, now then let your enemies and those who seek to do evil to my lord be as Nabal. 27 And now let this present that your servant has brought to my lord be given to the young men who follow my lord.

David is on his way to rectify the dishonor of Nabal and Abigail (the wife) steps in with humility. She intercedes for her foolish husband with humility and makes it known only to David and his men not her husband (at least until the next morning when he dies from a heart attack). When we intercede for others, it is not just a war-like thing to do, it is a humble thing to do. Until the King calls us from our position of humility, we stay on our face. When He picks us up and gives us instructions, we then change our position.
I began weeping! For a couple years now, I assumed I was healed from a past ministry hurt. As if the pain of some years were in the past only and God showed me that my hurt has caused me to be defensive. I was talking with a good friend this morning about a trip he took last week and how edifying and awesome the ministry he visited did community together. What a great testimony, right? I could not celebrate with him in the moment because I was wrapped up in my brick walls. Something he said triggered a memory that negated what was good and godly about the moment.
As I prayed on my way into the office this morning, God was showing me that my position at this moment is simply to be on my face. He was unraveling years of hurt right before my eyes and allowing me to face the truth. Here are some of those truths:
  • God is in control

Even when we think something is too hard or if we are the victims of some kind of evil, we must come to grips with the truth that God is in control. God is not surprised with your issue and this may create larger questions and issues for you regarding God, but this is the truth.

  • You must get on your face (humility) before you can be free

Abigail came to the king (David) and interceded for her foolish husband. She and everyone in her family and property were spared, the king thanked her in the process, and later God took care of Nabal instead of human intervention.

  • Interceding for others includes those that hurt you

This was my toughest hurdle, technically, I am still mid-jump over this one. I had the tendency to walk around praying and shouting for God to save others from the same hurt and to shut down the one who hurt me. I thought I had forgiven when I simply overlooked the pain in my own power. God showed me clearly that I would know when I was healed… when I could come to the King of Kings, much like Abigail, and offer a gift and beg for the very life of the one who hurt me. God was showing me that for years, but for some reason the phone was connected this time, I heard the message clearly.

  • Your healing comes at the expense of you

Let me explain, I have to give up my right to be right. I have to give up my need to have a reason for why something happened to me. When I can be joyful simply because God is walking and talking with me, my freedom is at hand. It is good to claim the promises of God and to come to His throne boldly, but may we never misinterpret this boldness. Our boldest moments come when we are empty of our own agendas and we simply bless God and others. Abigail had every right to let David kill as planned, technically she could have asked for shelter and protection, but instead she honored the king with her humility and wisdom.

Victory comes with humility, wisdom and love, but you are not the one who brings it. God brings your victory and when we usher in our own victories, we soon learn that they are short-lived and become bondage in our spiritual lives. True spiritual victory never binds, it frees.